for this moment

just for this moment….allow me to pour this all out…

just for this moment…i am crying because of him

My heart is all smashed right now….

Asking me to wait so I did…

But he never came back…

he could have easily said goodbye but he asked me to wait

and the silly masochistic individual that I am, I did…..

ive long been waiting for us to be able to talk…

And I terribly miss him that's why I took this chance…

sentimeeh (7/21/2007 7:56:45 PM): hi
********* (7/21/2007 8:13:57 PM): hi
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:16:40 PM): musta?
*********(7/21/2007 8:17:02 PM): ok lng
*********(7/21/2007 8:17:08 PM): wait lang
*********(7/21/2007 8:21:21 PM): hi ulit
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:22:47 PM): hi agn…
********* (7/21/2007 8:23:32 PM): doing sumthing?
********* (7/21/2007 8:23:52 PM): ctc?
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:24:13 PM): im just done with it…
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:24:20 PM): ok lng…
********* (7/21/2007 8:25:45 PM): how are you?
********* (7/21/2007 8:25:54 PM): doin good?
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:26:52 PM): ok naman….the past week sobrang pagod ko…and now, nkpagrest na….pero start ulit nxt wk haha
********* (7/21/2007 8:28:31 PM): don't abuse yourself….
********* (7/21/2007 8:28:42 PM): mamya singilin k nyan
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:29:42 PM): di naman msydo, but yea…i tend to….di maiwasn e…gnn tlg….
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:30:08 PM): ikaw din….sobra ka n aral….di k n ata ngrrest…
*********(7/21/2007 8:31:15 PM): di pa namn. i haven't pushed myself
*********(7/21/2007 8:31:22 PM): to the limit
*********(7/21/2007 8:31:58 PM): did ust win?
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:32:13 PM): okie…
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:32:39 PM): against up ba? yea…i think 7 pts ang lead…
********* (7/21/2007 8:35:15 PM): naghousehold n kyo?
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:35:35 PM): yea, twice na…
sentimeeh (7/21/2007 8:35:39 PM): kyo?
*********(7/21/2007 8:36:23 PM): kmi di pa…. kinda bc ang mga tao
********* (7/21/2007 8:36:46 PM): can't squeeze time
********* (7/21/2007 8:37:17 PM): wait lang tlga…….

im so overly melodramatic i know….

when he didnt reply at once, i deleted all his msgs in my inbox….

but he should have ignored me totally then….

i guess this is really where I stop…

Ive done my part…

And this book I will just close…

He doesnt deserve my tears….

I don't deserve all the pain that he brought me…. 

And to that letting go state I am once more….

:' ( 

haiiiii he went online again…

roller coaster of emotions….

ayoko na…

ayoko na… 

now I can breathe

the past week was totally exhausting….

until now I can still feel muscle and joint pains….<–perhaps all those rheumatoid arthritis study for our big group discussion diffused on me….that's why I manifested with the same symptoms our patient have.. haha…no im not a hypochondriac nor suffering from a somatization disorder….weh…—> psychiatry shifting exam did this to me, actually, this is what people diagnose me with everytime I complain about pains and all…

oh well….the week was sooooo stressful for me… whoever said third year is easier than 2nd year must be out of his wits….

ITs really just now that I was able to recuperate from the sleep deprivation since last week….haiiii….

I feel a lot better now because after that everyday BGD works….(but Ive still managed to go to the SFC Chapter assembly last wednesday–> with the aching body and droopy eyes)… 

I passed that dreadful exam in Psych (even with all the stupid, careless answers I made) Med quizzes were a bit ok…(again carelessness made me 1 pt short to passing that short quiz yesterday), thank God Radiology exam was  cancelled, Pedia Surg did not push through and last but not the least….We did Ok in our BIg Group discussion…. I was able to report without stammering much unlike before….wiiii i finally learned how to report!! halleluyah….answered some of the questions without urm…ahhh….err….haha…felt so good that when I was tasked to lead the closing prayer, it seems that the Spirit has grown within me…Dr. Valencia even asked if I am a Legionnaire of Mary….hahaha….sabi ko Singles for Christ po…(proud and blessed to be one )  haha one more thing, shayney gave me a note that says: Weng ang galing galing mo…! Good Job!…… was really really touched….hahaha

We treated Dr. Alan to a merienda/early dinner at Dpit for that success….hihi….sayang Dr. Lyndon wasnt around….Dra Cayco was a saint din…she didnt ask any questions…. anyway….

Glee Club rehearsals after –my stress reliever @ the end of the tremendous wk….and then home to laguna at 11.45 p.m…sheesh…traffic….err…

Now…ill stop being a bum soon and get back to being a med student….

next week would be exams galore again…(bring it on!)

P.S.

The busy week allowed me to repress, attain dissociative amnesia (for a short short while) and forget about that person…….now he came back to my senses again…haha….felt sad cause he wasnt around last wed…..and misshim…i really miss him….but i decided to move on and forget didnt I….still I miss him…:-)