before I sleep
August 27, 2007
" I don't have any sleeping problem. I have no worries, no fears, no nothing….just myself. But when I met a couple this morning, laughing together, holding their hands tight and looking thru each other's eyes…its harder for me to sleep now. I THOUGHT I'M BETTER OFF ALONE. But maybe, they are right. Maybe it is nicer to spend your time with someone that you love…Someone who means something to you…Maybe ill try it…not for now, but SOON. Soon enough when i find someone to share my life with…." 
—THE SINGLES JOURNAL
Thanks irene for this wonderful quote….
I was just talking to my friend who's name I won't mention….and she suddenly blurted out that there's just two of them left in their barkada who had NBSB……and sometimes she feels envious….funny cause I was feeling the same thing at that moment….haiiii this quote really speaks for most of us who had none eversince…..
NO…it's not that we're sourgraping or getting impatient…or rushing into things….there are just certain times like this when you awfully want to have someone right there by your side….at the time when everyone around you is happy with their own……happiness'
Now, we can't do much about it really…but pray for that person…..pray that one day God will grant us with the ONE…..and I hope when that time comes, it will be all worth the wait 
P.S. I was talking to Pia on the phone when my mom told me to tell her na naunahan na sya ni Gian….na mgkabf….sabi ko mommy meron na po c Pia matagal na….ako na lang at c Jane ang wala pa sa barkada….sabi ba naman…."aba e di maghanap ka na…."
kamusta naman yun mommy? as if totoo yan….hahahaha she keeps on bugging people na ihanap ako ng boyfriend….for all I know pag nagkaron nga ibibitin ako nyan patiwarik 
…sana maibitin na ko ni mommy ng patiwarik soon…..hahahahaha
month of august
August 26, 2007the days just passed by so fast…and its nearing September… i haven't had any decent post for the past weeks…it was like, im just living in a dream….nothing to talk about…none…nada….
today im just glad that the prelims is over…imagine how many times i studied for medicine, pedia, surgery, and gyne….whoever thought i enjoyed all the class suspensions by the ever non-dependable PAGASA is definitely wrong…hay…but anyways….im just able to breathe again now that the exams are done….
i can't seem to find the right words to say now…my mind's a blank….i just want to update my blog that's why im doing this post…or maybe my heart just don't want to feel and say whatever it is within….i don't feel like sharing….but still i owe this to my blog….weh
im in a limbo…..
no, im not sad or anything….sentigurl is just not in the mood for sentiments….or maybe these are just building up….i hope things would be better as this post progresses…
The past week I was a truly versatile person, juggling my being a med stude/glee club/sfc member…haha..time management it is…
Last Tuesday August 21, we sang for Dr. Monzon's book launch and photo exhibit at Beato Angelico, even if there is Surgery prelims the next day, plus psych quiz too….haha i don't know if I had really managed my time because I got really tired to study….and just slept thru my supposed review period…
thankfully surg was ok….SAMPLEX….weh….and then Wed i went to the SFC chap assembly @ the UST chapel, even if i was really exhausted and there's pedia shifting the next day…
but i know in my heart I did the right thing….Kuya Bob's talk really made me think and realize things…its like God answering my hang-ups the past days….
"He knows when it's the right time…..and if you're ready for the things you ask for….also…
He knows what you need and will give it to you even if you don't ask for it….and lastly…
just ask, and truly leave it all up to Him…and He'll grant your desires…."
…even ate shirley was telling me the same before the talk started…
the praise and worship was great…. 
pedia exam the next day was ok.,,,,,and as expected I wasn’t able to study much for it….nakakapagod na kc….3 times ko na sya binabasa….for the past weeks….oh well….i hope I passed….
And then MED….weeeeeeee……super stressed na ko….i finished early…but felt super devastated after dahil sa certain things…ang gulo ko kasi….ohwell…bsta tapos na exams! Haha
So attended mgc practice…then to the CLP in our GK site…so nice kasi 5 of us from the American era were present….for a change….then to SFC Sector assembly…tapos ng laughtrip sa jabee….then home
Yesterday we went to Binan….ngbingo social…ng med mission ako at tinake ang blood pressure ng mga titas titos and pinsans…..harhar…..Gian introduced her bf to the family….cool 
nakakaaliw…hiehe…..
So there….now I should be doing our gyne thing….but im still surfing…kakatamad na talaga….ohwell….
He was online earlier…..and I ddnt notice….
I was in invi mode coz I don’t wanna talk to him muna….of course I missed his presence last Friday….but I just found out certain things…..and I just gone tired….
—
August 12, 2007sometimes….i wonder what I have done wrong in my life to deserve all the resentments…..all these unwantedness…..that feeling of being so all alone in this realm….
i catch myself caring….just so that it hurts to the tiniest bits cause I have never been cared for the same way…
even the people i hardly ever thought i would even notice…brings me this pain once things turn 180 degrees….
its always been like this …..
I care….and they don't…..
i hope ill wake up one day being as cold as the fridge…..so that i won't ever have to feel this way anymore.
i can’t help it
August 9, 2007at deal or no deal….the contestant was a woman in her 50s….without any experience …no… nada on being in a relationship…."never been kissed never been touched" all her life….
my gawd….makes me wonder….will i experience the same fate???
haha…
honestly….these days….i dont know why…but i cant feel anything…..its good…sentigurl doesnt go senti….but then…..the feeling was worst…i feel empty…
haiiii…..and mind's a blank too……haiii…..next tym…
—fin—
