hurting inside
October 29, 2010ano ba kaming dalawa…..
is he making a fool out of me? ;’( im so damn tired and hurt….
damn all the whores who cant find their own match….
those bitches who gets all the fun in snatching men who are already taken
i dont know what to feel anymore….
sobra sobra ko syang mahal….
at sana magising na lang ako one day na di ko na to nararamdaman :’(
Cant I ever be happier?
October 23, 2010Wherever I go it reminds me of the state that I am currently in….
our relationship seems to be in a limbo….no heavenlike happiness….no hellike sadness
I dont know where we are heading…..
I dont know how long could I be brave enough to face this truth…
Everytime I sit down and ponder on all the circumstances between us, I cant help but cry and wish that things did not change
That today is just like what it all were almost 3 years ago…
Way back then when he loved me as much…when he loved me even more than I loved him…..
It hurts so much that I can’t ever feel that happiness ever again….
and it hurts even more cause I can’t do anything to stop this foolishness……
I dont know if Ill ever feel that love from him again…..
All I know is I love him so much…still…
even if it hurts too bad… :’(
till my heartaches’ end
October 21, 2010that movie is like my own story….
that song… speaks of what’s within my heart
today I am sure of this….
i am just in a wishful thinking…..
my heart skipped a beat….
October 20, 2010He called, and I heard him, listening to our song………is it just a coincidence….
or am I just in a wishful thinking….
envious
October 11, 2010
everytime I see couples with intertwined hands….lovingly gazing at each others’ faces
everytime I hear a girl whipering these words ” I love you too”
everytime I watch movies and shows with a male protagonist expressing how deep his love is for his girl….
everytime I listen to songs that speak of a man’s undying love for a woman….
everytime I see facebook statuses….comments professing a girl’s feelings for a boy who in turn likes that same msg and answers how his feelings equates to hers…..
everytime I hear about a new engagement….a wedding….of people I know….
….it hurts
…it gives me a pang deep in my heart…..
….realizing that once in my life I knew how these people I just mentioned felt…..that once I was loved back the same way…..
that once I thought I already met the person who will make other girls envious….
but no…. even if He is still here with me….. I dont know if the day will ever come….because I dont feel anything from him anymore….
because after almost 3 years, his love was not able to withstand the test of time…the test of meeting new people…and of surviving the difficulties that comes with entering a relationship….
I am currently in a state of utmost stupidity…..of wishful thinking….I am holding on….even if every single day I feel envious of all the ladies who are lucky to have found the One they have always dreamed about……
Everyday….a tear falls….my heart twitches…. because I will always be envious but hopeful….. hurting but praying…. that a miracle could still happen…
afterall……
sadness within
October 6, 2010there’s so much sadness here inside me….
but I couldnt get away….
from the source of this sadness…
cause I dont know what’s much harder, losing him completely…or having him but not knowing if he’s completely there…
there’s so much emptiness inside my heart that could have been filled, if he was still the way he was on that day, those years that he loved me
…………
Im asking God still, that one wish….to have him back…wholly…………….
………..
